How to Write a PJO Fanfiction
by bluewindranger
Summary: Go on. Click on that little blue link. These are the problems that are plaguing the PJO fanfiction archives by the masses. From cruddy original characters to Chaos stories to Annabeth-bashing (which, by the way, is so lame)...this will cover them all. Step into the dragon's den, if you dare. Because the author will hold nothing back...
1. Original Characters

**Author's Note:** Awwww, shit, I'm writing a how-to guide. But seriously...Percy Jackson fandom...seriously...come on...I know that you're better than this crap.

Just sayin'...I will be very, very, uncharacteristically _MEAN_ and _BITCHY_ in this fanfiction how-to-guide. :3 You have been warned...

* * *

**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction  
**(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)

* * *

**A Warning to the Reader!**

This author will really hold _nothing_ back in her endeavors to help clean up the PJO fandom of its overused plot bunnies, OOC characters, terrible action scenes, Annabeth-bashing, _FUCKING_ CHAOS STORIES, _FUCKING_ HIGH SCHOOL STORIES, Percy becomes a god, etc., etc. So if you have a weak stomach, hate cursing, and don't want to be insulted because you think that I may be referring to _you_ when I rant about everything that is wrong with each section of the PJO fanfictions that I will be discussing in separate chapters, LEAVE NOW.

LIKE, NOW.

* * *

**Chapter One:** Original Characters

_Well, here's the catch...NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN PERFECT OC._

* * *

**i.** Overview

* * *

_So once, there was this demigod called Mary Sunshine Rainbows Sparkly Fun Chocolate Marshmallow Lala Jackson. __She has long black hair and gorgeous, brilliantly green eyes, and porcelain skin. She is five-foot-eight. _Due to the complications of demigod siblings (because, you know, demigod siblings are totally_ something to worry about__), Mary was separated from Percy Jackson when they were just two. Over the years, she has learned to fend for herself, becoming an expert weapons master, and she can handle anything from a sword to a knife to a bow and quiver, even though children of Poseidon are generally bad at archery. However, since she is fifteen now, she decided that it's time to find Percy at Camp Half-Blood. She's instantly best friends with everyone she meets, and eventually starts to date Nico di Angelo, and she's constantly saving Percy from trouble. _

*Smiles brightly and shoots Mary Sunshine Rainbows Sparkly Fun Chocolate Marshmallow Lala Jackson in the head with a machine gun*

I do not regret that.

Okay, so, maybe I over-exaggerated that, but seriously...stop making fucking siblings of Percy Jackson. And why would you make them siblings of Percy? _Percy?_

I will save my ranting about _EVERY FUCKING THING THAT IS WRONG ABOUT PERCY_ for another, later chapter. Annabeth is so much better than him. And also on that note, I will be talking about Chaos stories. NEXT. CHAPTER. Because all of you writers who make Annabeth a bitch? I'm sorry, but seriously, go and shoot yourselves. Right. Now.

Yes, I am going to be brutally honest in this guide/fanfiction, and if you don't have the stomach for it, then stop right here and don't read. Whatever. Flame me all you want, my lovely, Percy Jackson-loving "anonymous" users. We all know that you're actually users who are too chicken to review under your penname. By the way, didn't I tell all of you people to leave yet? If you want to stick it out and flame/spam me, fine. Hopefully, you'll learn something along the way.

...Yeah. Anyways, for all of you who have stayed and write Chaos fanfictions wherein Annabeth is a bitch, I have a bone to pick with you. Let's fight it out tomorrow, because I'm incapable of writing two chapters in one day of the same story.

* * *

**ii. **Naming

* * *

So, getting back to the main point...seriously..._why would you call your fucking OC _"Mary"?! MARY, OUT OF ALL THE DAMN NAMES IN THE WORLD! **M. A. R. Y.** WHAT. THE. FUCK?! If all the _other_ characteristics didn't scream "MARY SUE" into the reader's face (which it really will), well, THAT SURE AS HELL DID.

Okay, so besides the point, here are a few things that you should _never_ name your OC. I have seen these and many, many more.

* * *

**1. Silver **(Now, listen, I've never seen this name been used in the PJO archives, but I sure as hell have in other ones. Namely, the Legend of Korra. But..._why the fucking hell would you name your character after a fucking precious metal?!_ That just _conveys_ superiority and perfection and narrow-mindedness.)

**2. Gold** (Don't get me started. I think that you get the track: Don't name your OC after any precious mineral, unless you're in the Pokémon fandom, I suppose, in which characters are _already_ named after Gold, Silver, Platinum, etc., etc. Yes, this author, once upon a time, loved Pokémon. What of it?)

**3. Mary** (REALLY?! _FUCKING REALLY?!_ I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO GO THERE AGAIN.)

**4. Persisia/Persa/anything-Percy-like-that-is-genders wapped** (No. Just...no. I mean, yeah, genderswap fanfictions are nice and funny to read once in a blue moon, but do them too much and with _fucking similar names every single time_ and the plot bunny and character just get stupid and bitchy, respectively. :3 Let's be honest here..."Persa Jackson" sucks major ass.)

**5. Meredith** (Okay, I am certainly generalizing here, and I admit it. A use for a semi-old Hunter, maybe around a hundred, fifty years is fine. In fact, that's perfectly fine for, like, fanfictions set in the 1900s or something, but in the twenty-first century? Get outta here. _Don't use outdated names unless you have a good and specific reason for it_.)

* * *

Yes indeed. Those are only five (three) of the most atrocious/inappropriate names that I have stumbled upon.

* * *

**iii.** Physical Description/Characteristics/Attributes

* * *

Now now now now now! Here we arrive at _physical description_. Oh, holy Zeus above, physical fucking description. Excuse me for a moment while I try to claw out my eyes.

...

* * *

**For the ladies:** _No one_ has long silver hair, beautiful iridescent eyes the color of the sky, curves, muscles, flawless skin that everyone loves, and has an IQ the level of Einstein's. That just makes your OC more Mary-Sue-ish than it already is. No. Just...NO.

**For the gentlemen:** ...This is the epitome of what you _MUST NOT DO:_

"I am _tall and very muscular._ I have unkempt, spiky black hair and _black_ eyes, although they _sometimes turn other colors in different kinds of light_. I have really tanned skin and I am _extremely athletic_. I am pretty much _good at every single kind of sport I play._"

What the fuck are you; some Herculean, male model, Olympic athlete?

* * *

Listen, no one is that perfect when it comes to looks. They're _dreams_. Don't make them into a reality, because _that will never happen_. You want your fanfiction to be _real_, and _real-looking/just-plain-real characters_ are part of that. This will be elaborated upon in the next section.

* * *

**iv.** Personality

* * *

Okay, listen. I don't really fucking _care_ if your character is named "Silver", or if she has long silver hair, beautiful iridescent eyes the color of the sky, curves, muslces, flawless skin that everyone loves, and has an IQ the level of Einstein, but _if you won't listen to me on those topics, THEN YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER LISTEN TO ME ON THIS._ THIS, _personality_, is what makes a character a true character.

Now, let's take a look at your original character's attributes and personality.

*Cue block of text*

_LISTEN TO ME. _Your characters are not _perfect_. You have to get it through in your head. Just because you make them "short" or "weak" doesn't make them any less Mary Sue-ish/Gary Stu-ish. In fact, I believe that you're simply inflating their other, much more desirable attributes in the reader's faces. Give them real personality flaws. Give them a _life_. _The world is not perfect_; we have all gone through some sort of hardship in our life. Parents being killed do _not_ automatically make your character three-dimensional. I can't say how many times I've encountered stories like that, and then the authors are all like, _"Okay, I put them through a life-changing and traumatizing event, let's not develop them anymore and instantly make them a really good sword fighter!"_

Here, as one brilliantly gifted user (check out** minnichi** on this site) so beautifully put it in an "official" review (this is from another site, mind you). The sections emboldened are the parts that **_you should pay attention to._**

* * *

_"I tried my best to be fair in this section, and I've examined each of your characters closely. As of now, they have...little to no development.** Development starts with a personality**, which grows** into unique flaws in each individual that they must learn from as the story progresses**. Your story consists of** so much dialogue** that I **can't sense much of a personality from anyone** at the moment. There's a** complete lack of inner reflection, one of the keys of personality.** That can sometimes be fixed within the dialogue, but what they say as of now still doesn't contribute much to character. I know that _**[omit]**_ does start to change later on regarding her views about _**[omit]**_, but **character development is much more than just stating that it happens**. We're **not shown these actual changes**, **nor are there any traces of emotion to pick up from**. Your characters are **hindered most by the simplistic, sometimes unrelated dialogue**, and you have to gear the story to show us what goes on in their heads. I see great effort in some areas, but they lack basis. You must **develop the personality before you can believably tell us why someone is sad**, for instance. **Naming emotions right now doesn't create the connection it needs to the characters**, and as of now this [fanfiction] really needs to pick up on that. They are great characters waiting to be heard! I know you can do it."_

* * *

Read that again. And again. And again. That should be your holy grail when it comes to character development.

* * *

AND DON'T GIVE THEM THE FATAL FLAW OF "PERSONAL LOYALTY". "Personal loyalty" _is not a fucking flaw_. Rick Riordan has totally brainwashed you all. I will be elaborating upon this in my "Hate Percy Jackson" vendetta. Maybe Chapter Four or Five?

* * *

**v. **Conclusion

* * *

Mmm, that's about it for now. I've covered the main problems. *Deflates rage down to healthy levels*

So, the main points in which your OC needs to be fixed in: _NAMING_, _PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS_, and _GODDAMN PERSONALITY_. I _cannot_ stress that last one enough. _Personality is KEY_ to your OC. Okay? Good.

* * *

**Next chapter: **Chaos Stories

Fuck, I am going to have a _field day_ with that one.


	2. Chaos Stories

**Author's Note:** So, a reviewer tipped me off about another author, **L1berty0rD34th**, who wrote something similar to this, and, L1berty0rD34th, you happen to be reading this and going, "=_=' Plot stealer", please keep in mind that I never meant for this fanfiction to be, in any way, similar to your own. XD So, sorry about that.

Also, some of you seem interested/freaked (or weirded) out/curious about my Percy Jackson vendetta. You'll find out in three chapters; I've got a little plan going at the bottom of this chapter.

**Mr. Invincible:** I don't know if you got my PM, but I will say again that, _if you're accusing me of not contributing at all to the PJO fandom except for this one fanfiction, then why don't you take a look at my archive?_

* * *

**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction  
**(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)

* * *

**A Warning to the Reader!**

Still here? Still sticking around? Good!

Well, same warning applies as the previous chapter. I will really get ranting in this one. I can already see the flames coming...XD I think that I go a little overboard in "**iii.** Characters"...oh, dear.

* * *

**Chapter Two:** Chaos Stories

_Gods above, help me with this. Please. As for my readers: prepare yourselves...we will analyze and correct a Chaos story together, in style!_

* * *

**i.** Overview

* * *

That dreaded fic. The horrible plot that everyone seems to be obsessed with. Yes, my friends, we are indeed talking about Chaos stories in this chapter!

So I think that the PJO archive has been utterly _swamped_ by this type of fanfiction the past few years. It's truly disgusting. It's horrible. And they use the same...damn...plot...over...and...fucking...over again...

It's just a drag, you know? It becomes irritating after a while. I applaud the writer who first came up with this idea, but to all of the rest of the users? If you _must write a Chaos fanfiction_, come up with a _new plot_. Not one that has collected dust bunnies over the years.

All right; let's get this show on the road!

* * *

**ii. **Plot

* * *

Don't deny it: we've all seen this incredibly stupid plot somewhere or the other. It must appear on every other page of the archive. Let me sum up the plot of every single one of these retarded stories:

_percy thalia and nico r betrayed by there siblings percy has a bro called mark thalia has a sis called alice & nico h as a bro called brandon, annabeth ditches pErcy 4 mark b/c mark framed perseus and said that he was da 1 who [insert really stupid cause for Percy, Thalia, and Nico to leave here]. then they run away & met chaos who made them cmmandrs of his super powerful army & percy is the most powerful, then their called back to chb b/c theyre needed..._

I will dissect that monstrosity, sentence by sentence. Well...there are only two sentences, because the writer, so conveniently, has not mastered his or her use of the English language and has dropped quite a few periods. Oh, looky. Another topic for another chapter! Grammar/spelling! :D

Anyways...here we go!

_"percy thalia and nico r betrayed by there siblings percy has a bro called mark thalia has a sis called alice & nico h as a bro called brandon, annabeth ditches pErcy 4 mark b/c mark framed perseus and said that he was da 1 who [insert really stupid cause for Percy, Thalia, and Nico to leave here]."_

Yeah...okay, what? Tackling the English issues first: for one, my eyes are swimming from the lack of stops and these little dots that you're supposed to put at the end of a phrase called a "period". Second, _YOU DO NOT WANT TO FUCKING USE _"TXTNG LINGO" _IN YOUR FANFICTION. _Trust me, nothing turns a reader off like abbreviations such as "ttyl" and "b/c" and "u" instead of "you". What, are you too fucking lazy to punch in a "y" and an "o" before the "u"? That's just...incredibly sad.

Moving onto the more plot-like aspects of this so-called "sentence": So, in every single Chaos fanfiction you will encounter, Percy, Thalia, and Nico will have an idiotic and/or bitchy brother, brother/sister, and brother/sister, respectively. Annabeth will end up dating Percy's idiotic and/or bitchy brother, which, by the way, _WOULD NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN SO LAY OFF OF ANNABETH AND HER DUMPING PERCY_. _ALSO, PERCY HAVING A BROTHER THAT HE NEVER KNEW ABOUT WOULD ALSO NEVER HAPPEN, EVEN IN A RETARDED ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT FUCKING GAME YOU'RE PLAYING HERE, BUT IT ISN'T FUN FOR THE REST OF US TO READ._

Okay. Next, the part about Annabeth ditching Percy for his brother...fuck. No, just...no. Now, if you had a _good reason_ for Annabeth ditching Percy for his retard brother, then I WILL GET ONTO MY KNEES AND BOW DOWN TO YOU. I have yet to read a good story with a _good reason_ as to why that will happen. I have yet to read a _good Chaos fanfiction_ in general. Why haven't I?

BECAUSE GOOD CHAOS FANFICTIONS ARE NON-EXISTENT. THEY'RE IMPOSSIBLE TO DO. IM. POSS. I. BLE.

Oh, I've read _"meh"_ ones before (_Chaos's Elementals_ by **Divine Protector of Mangos**. Dude, while the story is just as cookie-cutter-like as the other Chaos fanfictions out there, you actually have proper grammar. Thank you! :D) to _"okay"_ ones (_The Power of Darkness_ by **Chaos Perlia and Chocolate**. Now, the writing level in this Chaos fanfiction, while mediocre-to-fair when you're judging against all the rest of the fanfictions in the PJO archive, shoots beyond the stars and sky compared to other Chaos fanfictions. I recommend that you give this one a hasty look-over; your eyes won't burn themselves to death, at least...except for the Annabeth hating part. But that's generic...).

To give you an example, I will write part of a chapter of a generic Chaos fanfiction right now, right off the top of my head. Well, generic, except for the fact that Annabeth doesn't dump Percy, because I just can't write something like that. It's weird.

* * *

**ii. A SAMPLE: **This is what you should _NEVER_ do in your life while writing fanfiction

* * *

**Annabeth**

Gone. For over two thousand years. It hurts so much, like somebody's poking a white-hot poker into my heart.

Without any sensible children of the Big Three left, Camp Half-Blood was turning disorganized. And it's all those new children of the Big Three's fault.

The minor gods had started a rebellion, and the newly-returned Kronos was leading them. (How many more times does that excuse of an immortal have to rise again so that he would be satisfied?) Percy, Thalia, and Nico were the ones to send Kronos back to Tartarus. And defeat all the minor gods except for Nemesis, which Ashley (Percy's half-sister), Lance (Thalia's half-brother), and Alex (Nico's half-brother) took down, and Morpheus, which some members of Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter defeated. But when the gods summoned the heroes of the minor god rebellion to Olympus, they gave practically all the credit to the three who took down Nemesis and me, Grover, Clarisse, Reyna, Piper, Leo, Hazel, and Frank who defeated Morpheus. They completely forgot about their older three children, who did the sensible thing to disappear off the face of the planet—since nobody remembered them, why remain in this world? Although it hurt me more then you could imagine when Percy left.

For Percy, it was because Poseidon even hadn't glanced his way after he saved Olympus—again. And he was lavishing all his attention on Ashley, which I didn't think was particularly nice of him. His son was the Hero of Olympus. Why waste all your time on one girl who defeated one minor god with the help of two others?

Nico? Alex had swiped away the girl he liked, so now…he was back to square one.

Then, Thalia spent all those years believing that her brother was dead, and three years after she found out he was alive? Jason got killed by an arrow—a one that was dipped in Hydra blood—in his chest. She left the Hunters after that happened and was never quite the same. She was more moody, more reclusive. She got into more fights with Lance and Ashley and occasionally, Percy and Nico. Eighty percent of the time, she didn't even show up for meals, which resulted in me having to get...um, force her to eat something or she would turn into an anorexic. When that person saved your life on Half-Blood Hill...well, I couldn't let her die when this time, there would be no tree.

And when she did show up for meals, she never ate anything and left early.

I think that I was the only one who remembered them. Everybody else went to a party in the Zeus cabin, hosted by Lance. I think that this was the final straw for Thalia, since she wasn't anywhere at camp that day during dinner.

And then, the next day, Percy and Nico were gone. There was nothing for them here anymore. Their half-siblings even stole their weapons—Ashley had a "Riptide" and Lance had a second copy of Thalia's spear and Aegis. Nico...well, his weapon was actually stolen by Alex, so now, he doesn't even have a sword.

Nobody cared, except for me and possibly Grover. He offered to search for them with me. But that doesn't prove anything! They were gone. And so was the sanity from Camp Half-Blood.

The gods had made me immortal. One advantage of being a "minor goddess/plain immortal" was that…you can teleport to places. Joy to the world, that helps with the search so much…now, if only I could teleport to where they actually were, that would be a billion times more helpful.

Yeah. That's how they went missing. Back to reality!

I teleported to Central Park. It was kind of creepy being there, because the appearance of it hadn't changed for more than two thousand years, although the rest of New York City had drastically been altered.

I wandered around the park for a while until a howl rippled through the still night air. I fumbled for my knife and cursed loudly when I remembered that

I had left it in the Athena cabin. Curse my stupidness. I upgraded my list of rules that Rule Number One was to never leave your weapon behind, underneath your mattress.

I backed down as this creature with a hellhound's head, a body of a lizard, the forelegs of a lion, and the hind legs of a frog leaped out. I had never heard of such a monster in Greek or Roman mythology. It was a bizarre monster.

I rolled as the hellhound/lizard/lion/frog opened its maw and breathed a raging inferno of fire that smelled like rotten curry. I gagged. Was this a much mutated Chimera that was addicted to eating curry or something? Or just your typical fire-breathing monster? I guessed the latter.

That when things got really weird. A couple of figures with different colored armor leaped out, brandishing large swords and spears with shields.

I groaned. I didn't have anything to defend myself with. In a couple of seconds, I would become the world's largest doggy chew toy or human punching bag. Neither option seemed very enticing at the moment.

But the strange armor people ran straight past me and engaged the monster. They were moving with supernatural speed and struck with uncommon strength. Within ten seconds, the monster was a mountainous pile of greenish goo.

One of the warriors turned to me. The guy had electric-blue shoulder plates, silver armor, and a sword with a sapphire at the pommel. His shield was a matching shade of blue with his shoulder plates, except that it actually looked like…electric-blue metal. His head was encased in a close-fitting, blue-silver helmet. "You okay? You didn't get hurt?"

I blinked. "I still have both of my arms and legs, you know."

The guy cocked his head and regarded me suspiciously. Before he could say anything, I blurted out, "Are you feeling blue today?"

The guy chuckled and gestured to his companions. They disappeared in a flash to who knows where.

"The color of the armor is just signifying which Commander I am under. In this case, that's Sky. I'm her lieutenant. That not her real name, 'cause nobody knows it. Nobody's even seen her face before, as with Nova and Star. Well, except for Chaos, Nova, and Star…"

"They're all space or sky related," I noted.

The boy shrugged, his armor clanking. "All the other Commanders have code names that don't have anything to do with the Universe. Star, Sky, and Nova are the Elite. They're the leaders of all of Chaos's troops."

I frowned. "Chaos. You've mentioned that name twice now. The creator of the whole universe. You're kidding me. Is he evil? And I thought that he wasn't real."

The boy shook his head. "Nope. He's not evil. But he's real, all right."

He pressed a button and the time appeared. "Oh, by Chaos's name…curfew is past. Sky is gonna kill me. If possible, see you later, whoever you are!"

He disappeared in a flash of light, like his partners did before. I was left staring at the spot where he left because a piece of paper was lying on the ground.

It was scrawled in a messy but vaguely familiar script that was (thankfully) written in Ancient Greek that said:

Dear Annabeth,

Be prepared. The Titans and the Giants are returning. We will see you soon. We promise.

Signed,

Your friends

P.S. Don't freak out when the lake goes ka-boom.

I dropped the note in surprise. My friends? I didn't really have any "friends" at camp any more. Only one remained. Grover. And how could the Titans and the Giants return for a third time? Wasn't it like, two times the charm or something? If there was a third Titan or Giant War that was three times more then I wanted in my lifetime. Wait, I was immortal. My lifetime was forever, or at least until Western civilization crumbles.

The back of my neck tingled. My head shot up, just in time to see a slender figure—in the same outfit as the mystery boy was in—disappear just like the other people did. My only thought at what these people were was, who the heck are they?

* * *

**ii.** Plot _(con.)_

* * *

First of all, the main thing about this writing writing that burns my eyes out is that it starts _every fucking sentence with "I"_ or a personal pronoun, like "he" or "she". That's just so repetitive and unimaginative. "I, he, she, it." Avoid using those words to start a sentence too much.

So, sentence structure: use different words. Start with verbs. Add description. Flesh your sentences out. _"Agitated, I rolled out of the way, my cheek scraping the rough and dirty concrete sidewalk below me as I desperately tried to avoid the monster's slashing claws."_

Next, the writing is totally list-like. It goes something like:

_"I'm sad. (Check.) [Talk about why you're sad.] (Check). I miss Percy. (Check.) And Thalia. (Check.) And Nico. (Check). I teleport to Central Park. (Check.) I get ambushed by a monster. (Check.)"_ And then, etc., etc.

As you can see, there is no possible way for a Chaos fanfiction to be _good_. It's almost physically impossible, I swear. I challenge any one of you to do it. (Oooh, look, writing contest! XD) Or maybe it's because all of us are just horrible writers and we simply need someone who can bring balance and order to these Chaos fanfictions...

I'll be waiting for that day. Which will never come.

Anyways, I got really sidetracked from the main point, and this is getting to be over 5,000 words long now, because of my demo thing, so, let's move on to the second sentence of the plot bunny that you probably forgot about in trying to clear your mind of the Chaos writing above!

_"then they run away & met chaos who made them cmmandrs of his super powerful army & percy is the most powerful, then their called back to chb b/c theyre needed..."_

More texting lingo? You fucking disappoint me and about half the other authors on the site. In fact, you put _shame_ to the PJO fandom. Entirely. Get out of here. All Chaos fanfiction writers, go and _crawl in a hole and improve your writing skills_, and then write something else.

So, yeah, that's all I have to say about plot: that_ there is no plot._ Nothing can change that. *Shrugs* You dig yourself into a big-ass hole when you start these massive, Goliath-type fanfictions. That will always end up getting abandoned or killed. And yes, as you can see...I am sadly speaking from experience.

* * *

**iii.** Characters

* * *

Um, so, the characters are _generic_ and they _stay the same_ in Chaos fanfictions. Why? Because no respectable author would be stupid enough to write one.

Also, as I have discussed original characters in the last chapter, all of these new siblings follow a template: a.) They _have _to be favored by their respective godly parent, b.) they _have_ to be halfway decent fighters, c.) Percy's brother always _has_ to have a knockoff Riptide, and Thalia's sibling _has _to have a copy of Aegis and her spear, d.) they _have_ to become evil.

...

I'm not sure what I can say to that horribly clichéd "character template".

But I will say this again: _ORIGINAL. CHARACTERS. NEED. FUCKING. PERSONALITY_. THEY _CANNOT_ BE CARDBOARD CUTOUTS. THEY _CANNOT_ BE CREATED FROM A CHARACTER TEMPLATE. THEY _CANNOT_ HAVE "KNOCKOFF VERSIONS" OF ESTABLISHED WEAPONS. AND THEY _CANNOT_ STEAL ANNABETH FROM PERCY.

...Well, yeah, the last one was purely opinionated, but still...

* * *

**Percy: **_Character Profile in Chaos Fanfictions_

Okay, moving onto the main characters themselves...in every single goddamn Chaos fanfiction Percy is this insanely Gary Stu-ish creep who reportedly can "even defeat Chaos in single combat without breaking a sweat! :D" and can kick all the gods' asses to Tartarus. He is also the most powerful being in the universe, gets more tan, muscular, and hot, and acts like a cold bastard to Annabeth because she supposedly betrayed him about...whatever, something that's not true._  
_

Sound familiar?

Yes. Yes, it does.

_You,_ Chaos authors,_ are changing an _established character_ into an OC that is perfect in every way._ And, oh my gods, guess what? You may think that you're making Percy more powerful and likable than he apparently already is (I won't deny the powerful part), but _ALL YOU'RE FUCKING DOING IS MAKING PERCY A FUCKING BASTARD WHO HAS NO FUCKING HEART AT ALL_. And get this: why are you making Percy the all-powerful and sexy being that he is?

Because you can't take five minutes out of your life and create a _new OC_ that could take the place of Percy in every single situation. There, I said that you were lazy. And, no offense (I've offended you Chaos writers for the past two thousand words), but if you're seriously still relying on _fucking Chaos stories_ to write a fanfiction, then yes, I have the liberty to say that you. Are. Lazy.

So, how _should_ you make Percy a better character in a Chaos fanfiction? Well, for starters...

**1.** **_DON'T MAKE HIM THE MOST FUCKING POWERFUL DUDE IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE_. That's just _stupid_. He isn't even a fucking _god_. **

Which will later bring me to the point of _FUCKING_ similar stories wherein Percy becomes a god. Why? Because Annabeth hates him. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL OF YOU HATING ON ANNABETH? If it were up to me, there would be as many fanfictions in the archive hating on Percy as there were Annabeth. Once again, you guys _have_ to understand that Percy is not the best demigod in the world. He has his flaws, some of which are monstrously huge. He has his blue days. He's a _Homo sapien _that happens to have some godly blood running through his veins. If you take away his powers and his skills, he's just like us. _He's no more special than Clovis than Annabeth_. Yeah, his dad may be Poseidon...what of it? It only will end up giving him more weight to throw around. It's absolutely sickening to read these Chaos fanfictions in which Percy is the most powerful being in the world. It's...I can't even begin to rant about how retarded that is, because _there are no words for it_.

**2. Do _not_ give him a half-assed, stupid name like "Alpha" or "Orion" or "Star" or "Aquaman"**

No, I have never seen the last one be put into play, but you get the idea, right? Every single damn Chaos fanfiction I read has Percy taking on an alias and calling himself some stupid name that's actually part of the Greek alphabet, or he takes on the name of a fucking constellation. And do _not_ call him Star. Whatever you do, _DO NOT FUCKING CALL HIM THAT._

**3. Give Percy a _life._**

_But bluewindranger!_ you may cry out. _I already gave him a life! He's, like, the bestest demigod to _ever_ hit the face of the universe! See, he's even the commander of all of Chaos' armies!_

...Um, no, that is not a life. That is the saddest, most shitty life that I have ever seen from Percy. Just because he's an all-powerful being and has command over a massive army doesn't give him a life. It doesn't make him _happy_. What I mean is, _where is his heart?_ He isn't a cold, ruthless monster whose sole purpose consists of leading armies against men. Nothing can change _him_. It will always be a _part of him_. He's a forgiving guy. He understands. He's strong. _HE ISN'T A BASTARD WHO WANTS TO KILL ANNABETH WITHOUT A SECOND FUCKING THOUGHT_.

This, of course, stems back to the all-important _character development_ of a person. You can't just say in the prologue that someone wronged him and he ran off, and then jump forwards to a thousand million years later and he's suddenly become this closed-off and cold assassin. No one can change so abruptly in just one day, and Chaos fanfictions always end up saying:

_"I gave up all parts of my previous life when I met Chaos and forged a new persona around me: Orion. I obey Chaos' orders to assassinate everyone, and I've turned into a bastard who doesn't think twice about killing people, and I love doing my new job! It's so refreshing to stick swords into people without a second thought and—"_

Yeah, just shut the hell up already. Give some actual _backstory_. How did he change this way? By the things he saw after he left? By actually being hit by the austerity and the cruelness of the human world? _Explain_. Don't just throw a shadow of Percy at us. _How did he develop into such a mean character?_

* * *

**Thalia:** _Character Profile in Chaos Fanfictions_

Now, about Thalia: Chaos fanfictions usually turn out Perlia. Why? Because according to the Chaos stories' non-existent brain cells, Thalia is the next best thing for Percy after Annabeth. I, myself, ship Perlia pretty hard alongside Percabeth (don't kill me), but the way _this_ Perlia is played out? You pretty much make Thalia a toy for Percy. This is what Chaos fanfictions are doing:

_"Oh, looky, since Percy has to dump Annabeth in my fanfiction, then Percy can just move onto Thalia! Because, you know, she's totally going with him after Jason dies. *Wink, wink*"_

Get the memo. That, right above, is _not_ Thalia, because she could kick his ass if she tried really hard, and it's _not_ okay to do.

Also, we have this stupid notion that Thalia quit the Hunters either because a.) She "wanted to live life to the fullest", b.) She wanted to date Nico (I despise Thalico more than I dislike Percy, by the way; sorry to all you Thalico shippers out there), or c.) Jason died.

Jason died? That has become another stupid cliché courtesy of these Chaos fanfictions. Bah, _Jason died_. That isn't even a good reason for Thalia to leave! Right on the contrary, she should have become more _attached_ to Camp Half-Blood, who surely would have comforted her after the unfortunate murder. Of course, Chaos authors dance around this loophole by saying that it was actually CHB who killed Jason or something, so that Thalia is given free reign to go waltzing after Percy, happily ever after into the stars.

No. That idea should crash and burn. Give an actual, legitimate reason for Thalia to leave. Same goes for Percy! Although I don't know if there even is one...

(Wow, this is getting way longer than I expected it to be...)

* * *

**Nico:** _Character Profile in Chaos Fanfictions_

I really don't have much to say here, because Nico is kind of the...side-to-side guy in Chaos fanfictions. Oftentimes, he goes off with Percy and Thalia (who seem to be constants) to Chaos, but in others, he stays behind in the mortal world...and sulks. And sulks. And sulks. _Andthenherunsandjumpsoffaclifftocommitsuicide__—_theend! You know, in Chaos fanfiction headcanon.

Usually, if he goes with Percy and Thalia, it's because he got a girlfriend, and then that said girlfriend dumped him for his brother, if he has one.

Now, where have I heard that before...

*Snaps fingers* OH, I GOT IT! SHIT, IT'S AN EXACT REPEAT OF WHEN ANNABETH CHASE FUCKING DUMPS PERCY FUCKING JACKSON!

You see, Chaos fanfictions tend to get very, very _repetitive_ after a while, which I will discuss in the next section below: _work ethic._

* * *

**iv.** Work Ethic

* * *

The work ethic that is put into these Chaos fanfictions has been linear and flat, so I will be short on this: _it's bad._ It sucks ass. Like, a lot.

The thing is, people _know_ that, as sad as it sounds, a massive amount of the Percy Jackson fandom _loves_ reading Chaos fanfictions. Why else do you think these fics get so many reviews? Surely, it can't be because of the writing or the plot or the characters or the shippings. And they know that no matter how badly it's written, there will be someone out there who will read it. So usually, Chaos fanfictions end up turning into massive pools of poisonous sludge and...bleargh. I believe that the people who write them simply want to get _noticed_, and that's all. Because, let's face it: would the majority of the fandom rather read an amazingly beautiful Thalia/Luke fanfiction, or would they rather read a crappy Chaos one? The answer is always the latter. And I will be extremely blunt on this: It's disgusting what this fandom has become. I'm sorry, and this happens everywhere, but I've noticed that the most clichéd fanfictions (HI, CHAOS AND HIGH SCHOOL! :D) have the most reviews, the most favorites, and the most follows, while the most amazing fanfictions with new plots, well-rounded characters, and good writing have among the least.

_WHY?! OH, HOLY ZEUS ABOVE, **WHHHHHYYYYYY?!**_

And to the users who_ loooooove_ Chaos fanfictions, are reading this (while tearing out your hair, I bet), and scream, _"GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!"_, well, I have news for you: as much as people love your fanfictions, there are an equal amount, if not more, who hate it. So get moving and write something else. Use your mind. It's there for a reason.

Moving on to repetition: this displays _horrible_ work ethic. Flat-out horrible. I'm starting to believe that you people don't _try_ to make a good story. All you're concerned about it getting the next chapter up as quickly as possible so you get rack up your review count and favorites/follows. And what is sacrificed in that process? Good characters, a good story, and sentence structuring. Get a beta-reader who's willing to read your work and correct everything. A common theme among Chaos fanfictions seems to be a contest between these authors to see who can have the most grammar and spelling mistakes within a sentence.

Perhaps I'm being too harsh, but this is what I see. I can't see you writing it. Maybe you _are_ trying to make a good story, sweating it out, but I can't see it. Neither can anyone else, for that matter, so if you have a crappy story, then people will automatically assume that you're a crappy author who doesn't try at fucking all. It's a sad tale, but it's one that's true. Humans aren't perfect! We make assumptions all the time, and no one can change that.

If you want to write a halfway decent Chaos fanfiction that won't be damned the moment you publish it, then at least put some goddamn _effort_ into it. Clean up grammar and spelling mistakes and all that shit, flesh out your sentences, and give the reader an image of what is happening. We shouldn't have to scratch our heads and wonder, "hey, what does this monster look like again?" or "what does this OC look like?" Next, try putting in at least _one_ original plot twist, so that readers won't be able to predict every fucking thing that will fucking happen. And once you're done with that, hone in on the characters and take care to give them a personality. Give them flaws. Give them cracks in their "impenetrable" armor. Because once again, I will stress that _nobody is perfect_. If there is a perfect human being in the world, that is nonexistent. If you want to add a sense of realism to your overtly plagiarized fanfiction, then, by the gods above, _pay fucking attention to your fucking characters._ That is what makes Chaos fanfictions so horrible, ultimately: no effort is put into the characters. They're blank. They're uninteresting. They're clean slates. The author immediately assumes that we all know what the characters look like and how they act. Um, no, we can't see fucking inside your head. Because if you think about it, every Chaos fanfiction will end up having the same plot, which is why I say it has no plot. There is no originality, because Chaos fanfictions have such a _set way of doing things_ that it's fucking impossible to change it without it becoming something else.

When you see a Chaos fanfiction, you immediately think, _"Whoop! Percy's gonna be a superhuman and Thalia's going to be his lieutenant, and Nico may or may not be present!"_ Surprise them. Surprise us. You'll get something out of it that's good instead of shitty.

* * *

**v. **Conclusion

* * *

Damn, that took an hour and a half. =_="

Basically: Chaos fanfictions = bad. New and fresh fanfictions with original plots/characters = good.

Anyways, below is basically a mini-plan for how this story will go afterwards.

* * *

**Next chapter: **Characterization

_Percy: _"OMG I LOVE RAINBOWS AND FLUFFY UNICORNS AND MY LITTLE PONY IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER OCCURRED TO DEMIGOD-KIND~!"

**Chapter Four:** Spelling/Grammar Usage

_"yea __im so glda dat your enjoy ing my fic thnx keep on revewng! _ttyl"

**Chapter Five:** Percy Jackson: Character Analysis

That rant-against-Percy-Jackson vendetta I was talking about? Mm hmm.

**Chapter Six:** Feedback/Reviews/Comments

Dear god, feedback isn't everything...please understand that.

**Chapter Seven:** Attention Hogs

This is _why_ bad fanfictions with overused plots are published.

**Chapter Eight:** Reading the Books With the Gods

Probably the next most-used idea after Chaos fanfictions and just as equally bad.

* * *

_Keep in mind that I will be leaving on Sunday for three weeks, because my loving parents just so happened to sign me up for geek camp and didn't even tell me about it until yesterday night._


	3. Characterization and Action Scenes

**Author's Note:** Hey, I'm back! I probably won't be able to update tomorrow, because I have to go clothes shopping for camp. I hate shopping. *Shatters stereotype that all girls must love to go shopping every single minute of the day*

_**Also, do note that I read every single one of your reviews and PMs, whether they be flames, criticism, or praise, or just a single word. And I have noticed some hatin' on those...Rachel-is-a-bitch-in-high-school complaints, so I did touch some base on that.**_

* * *

**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction  
**(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)

* * *

**A Warning to the Reader!**

Same warnings apply. Although, I'll probably get rid of this by next chapter, because if you haven't gotten the warning memo yet, then that (hopefully) means that you will be sticking to this story without any complaints.

Of course, this chapter doesn't have _to__o_ much ranting in it, because...there isn't much you can say about characterization other than that it's characterization.

* * *

**Chapter Three:** Characterization (plus Action Scenes)

_When Percy likes fashion designing, you know that the story will be total bullshit._

* * *

**i.** Overview

* * *

**Percy:** "Hey, Annabeth, do you want to go design some clothes with me?"

**Annabeth:** "...Percy...? Are you feeling all right?"

**Percy:** "I'M TOTALLY DANDY! COME ON!" *Grabs Annabeth's hand* "CINNA'S EXPECTING ME IN FIVE MINUTES!"

**Annabeth:** "Percy, Cinna isn't a real person; he's a made-up character from The Hunger—"

**Percy:** "OMG RAINBOWS AND PONIES AND MARSHMALLOWS GALORE! DID I EVER TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE CHEESEBURGERS?!"

**Annabeth:** "..."

**Nico:** *Walks in and stares* "...I echo that sentiment."

Ah, characterization...one of the hardest things to do, I believe, in a fanfiction: keep the characters in character.

However, with that being said, some goddamn fanfictions are _so_ out of character that it's like, _"Where the fuck did you even get the idea that Percy likes fashion designing?!"_ Unless, of course, your story _is_ a story wherein Percy is a fashion designer, but that's just kinda weird. So. No.

I do have many tips to help with helping you keep your characters _in character_, though, because I find myself stuck in this quicksand every single time I sit down to write. You guys should, too.

However, there is not, ultimately, many things to say here. Characterization is something that you simply have to get good at, to practice, if that makes any sense. Characterization can't be described very well. It's...kind of a hands-on thing, if you get what I mean.

* * *

**ii. **Personalities

* * *

So, when most of us read a book, we just...read it, and we read it superficially. Don't deny it; you do it. He does it. She does it. I do it.

Then, we love that book so much that we decide to waste our lives away writing fanfiction.

(Which is why we all ended up here, killing our eyes in front of a computer screen, but that's totally not the point.)

Now, that would be just fine and great if it were like that—except for the fucking fact that we are not writers and more than half of us never will be. So how do we portray the characters as?

Well, we portray our favorite one as the superhero, the most awesome guy in the universe, the most powerful (hai there Percy), and the one we hate as the weak, gloomy and emo villain. Or, in _FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL STORIES' CASES, A CERTAIN REDHEADED MORTAL WHO SUDDENLY BEGINS TO ACT ALL BITCHY AND WHINEY_. No, no, seriously—where the _fuck_ did you get that from?! What, is Drew Tanaka not good enough for you to write?

Yes, I am indeed talking about Rachel Elizabeth Dare. I mean, I _get_ that this is fanfiction, but as one of my reviewers/PMers mentioned (sorry; I can't remember which one), _there are other girls who basically lend themselves to the role of "bitch in high school"_. Which, by the way, is so fucking stereotyped, because at least, the most popular girl in my school is actually really nice to everyone.

And this draws me to my first point in characterization: _understand the character's personality._

Rachel's personality is _not_ mean and bitchy. Rachel's personality is _not_ like that of Drew's. According to Camp Half-Blood Wiki (which, by the way, I hate even more than I dislike Percy, for my own reasons, so don't expect any more of this coming in the future):

_Rachel is very artistic, intelligent, and **kind**. She **enjoys volunteering for charity events to help schools in the area** to keep their art programs open. She is also **very open minded, being able to accept that Percy is a demigod and that monsters do exist.** She can be very blunt at times and has a habit of talking a mile a minute, as shown when Percy swung his sword at her by mistake, thinking a monster was behind him. Also, at the start of The Last Olympian, **she openly admits that she has a thing for Percy** by asking him a hypothetical question ("...what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl")_.

If I could highlight "OPENLY ADMITS" two billion more times, then I would do so.

So...no, in short, she's not that popular, snobby, bitchy, condescending, I'm-so-much-more-fucking-awesome-than-you type of girl. Again, this can be stretched...but why change her personality _so much_ that it's not the slightest bit in character? _THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE THERE TO FILL IN THE ROLE OF BITCHY SNOB_. And, hey, if you want to make your fanfiction better and not as stereotypical—_don't add a fucking snob at all_. Find another way to introduce conflict.

So, the first step to keeping a canon character in character is to understand their personality. Are they calm? Are they reserved? Are they mean? Are they kind? _That must provide the basis of writing a canon character_. You can't expect to make a character in character if the canon character is nice, but you make them the most sour idiot on the planet.

* * *

**iii.** The Character

* * *

This is not the same as personality: what I mean by "the character" is that you _must_ understand how the character will feel/do/say in a certain situation if you want that character to stay in character. Yes, it builds on the character's personality, but there are many levels of "nice" and "mean". It isn't flat. It's three-dimensional.

That was obvious, no? Sounds easy, huh?

Fuck, no. It is hard as shit to do.

There is _no_ _one_ who can make a perfectly in character canon Percy. Or canon Annabeth. Or canon Thalia. So on, so forth. Because the first wall in your way is that, essentially, you kind of have to be a die-hard fan of what you're writing for.

You may ask why. But you need to put yourself into the character's shoes for a moment. Visualize yourself in their situation. Imagine, _can you see them saying this phrase when they are fighting a drakon?_ Can you see them _doing this action?_ Can you see them in your head, doing that, as if you were reading it out of the book yourself?

If the answer is no, then, _go back and re-write it until you can visualize the character doing an action in your head_. This takes a lot of practice, because oftentimes, we fool ourselves into thinking, "Oh, yeah, Percy will _totally_ say so-and-so!" and happily go on our merry way, and in the meantime, your readers are dying because Percy, apparently, likes seeing Annabeth in tutus...or something weird like that.

Understanding a character takes quite a bit of time. If you're not die-hard about PJO fanfiction, then I don't suggest that you really take these tips to heart, because it will require, probably, reading over the books many, many times so that you know how Percy, or any other canon character, acts, speaks, and fights like the back of your hand.

In the end, you can't quite _explain_ how you characterize a character well, because each user has their own way of doing so. However, I do believe firmly in the fact that the _basis of every good characterized canon character is that you have to _understand_ the character_. Without understanding the character, _you cannot possibly think of fucking _writing_ them in character_. Observe them from every angle. Yes, this is getting repetitive, but the thing about characterization is, if you don't have one part, you don't have anything. That's the way it is.

* * *

**iv. **Conclusion

* * *

Again, I will stress that _there is no possible way to make a character perfectly in character_. But hopefully, if you take my two main tips above to heart, you can sure as hell get damn close to doing so.

* * *

**Next chapter:** Spelling/Grammar Usage

This won't be your average English lesson.

* * *

**Bonus Section:** Action Scenes

* * *

To put it briefly and bluntly, the many action scenes I see in the Percy Jackson archive are...just...plain...shit. So, below, I have some tips for all of you to help you to write action scenes.

**1. DO NOT TALK TO THE FUCKING READER.**

The setting is not from the goddamn reader's point of view, so don't act like you're talking to them. Describe it from what your _character_ experiences, for they are telling the story; it makes the action scene a whole lot less dull, anyways. I mean, seriously, don't just say, _"Percy was going down a waterslide with Annabeth. Percy is a twelve-year-old son of Poseidon. He's decent with a sword, but right now, he doesn't want to fight with anyone with it because he's too busy screaming his head off."_

**2. DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO THE GODDAMN FUCKING READER.**

_You're still not supposed to be talking to the fucking reader._ Introducing your character shouldn't sound like a history documentary. Make it more natural, and always think from their point of view. This is what lets readers see their personality. (See, this is where characterization comes into play. Everything's connected.)

**3. Be descriptive!**

How tired is tired? How nice is nice? We aren't told. It's important to go in-depth for a character's physical state, especially if it's not a healthy one. In this example we just know that he's tired...is he, like, really tired that he shouldn't be driving, or else he'll crash and burn a fiery death? Is he only a little tired? Once again, _everything should be three-dimensional_. There are many different levels of various emotions. Describe which one your character is experiencing at the moment.

**4. *Nico randomly pops out of nowhere and begins to babble***

This is really bad. You don't want to do this and then let it go, assuming that the reader knows what the fuck you're talking about. If a new speaker comes out of nowhere, we'll need some more details other than the quotations alone, or it'll feel completely random. Also, you should indicate that it truly does come out of nowhere. So basically, make sure you capture the nature of unexpected actions. Action scenes must be _exciting_. We, as readers, don't want to sit there, staring at the computer screen while mumbling, "Mm hmm. Mm hmm. This is boring. *Clicks back button*"

**5. Oh, no; he's just standing there stupidly with a blank expression on his face.**

Emotions are a big part of action scenes too, and you just can't name them as they occur. Write under the assumption that the reader has no idea what every emotion means, and that you have to show them what it looks like and how it feels. This keeps your character's reactions to anything realistic and relatable.

**6. "He slashed with his sword. It hit the monster. The monster exploded."**

**bluewindranger:** "**_FUUUUUUUUUU—!_**" *Face comically turns bright red*

This is _THE MOST FUCKING IMPORTANT_. "He slashed with his sword" doesn't do anything to tell the reader what's happening. Would you be happy with an explanation of "She made the goal by dribbling the basketball"? It's probably best to know exactly _how_ she played. So don't do the same thing to swordplay. A person does not just fucking _stand there_ while their attack is delivered. What is the attacker doing, and what movements are involved? Same goes for the person being targeted, who isn't just going to watch beatifically with a big-ass smile on the face, like, "cut me into ribbons now!" as their opponent prepares to strike. What's going on on both sides? Do tell.

**7. The Chaos stories have invaded EVERY FUCKING THING!**

Uggggh, fucking Chaos stories again. Do not describe a character's actions in a biased tone. This starts changing the story to the writer's point of view...and your character is the one experiencing this, not you! If something was "way too easy" or "felt like nothing," make sure it applies to the character's inner feelings and not because you like them better or are purposely trying to make another character look lame. *Cough, cough, Percy and the gods in Chaos fanfictions, cough, cough*

**8. The sword has feelings, too.**

Don't completely skip the "journey" of the sword being wielded. How was it "sent" exactly, and where did the blade end up going if it missed? The wall? The wielder's foot? The ground? How hard did it hit if it didn't miss, and how badly did the victim take the blow? DETAILS, FUCKING DETAILS, I SAY!

**9. GOOD CHARACTERIZATION = GOOD ACTION SCENE**

And here, we come back to characterization. Don't forget who your characters are just because they're fighting. They don't become bloodthirsty, faceless...zombies. Pay close attention when deciding what someone says, because out-of-character statements will stick out to any reader who knows the book and will interrupt the fight experience with its oddness. This is also effective when hinting who someone is before actually revealing them; a.k.a. foreshadowing.

**10. Patience is a virtue.**

Sometimes you're so excited to continue describing the fighting that you throw down the dialogue just to get it over with. But if you have dialogue, don't skip the details of the speakers. It'll start to sound dull if you list a bunch of quotations without a single "said/laughed/yelled/any-other-goddamn-word-descri bing-dialogue, etc., etc." Those kinds of words don't have to be used every time, and things like expressions and hand gestures can be used in their place as well—but the _FUCKING DETAIL_ still has to be there.

**11. Did I mention detail yet?**

Do not use overtly simple descriptions, because they can be broad, just like emotion levels can be. For instance, swords that "cut someone on the arm" someone can do so in many ways, so you have to specify. How badly did they cut the arm? Was it completley severed, or was it an itty-bitty slash that can be put right with a Band-Aid?

And...that's about all. XD

* * *

_Keep in mind that I will be leaving on Sunday for three weeks, because my loving parents just so happened to sign me up for geek camp._


	4. Spelling and Grammar Usage

**Author's Note:** Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm back. No more math logic. Oh my fucking gosh, no more math in general. My brain is absolutely fried. I didn't even know that upside down A's and E's and bleah existed until ML happened.

Okay, I'll stop boring you now. And, keep in mind that I do happen to read all my reviews and answer to...some of them. :P I'm sorry, **Percabeth'sOwlette**; I feel bad now, LOL, you submitted three long-ass reviews and I read them and was like "okay; *moves on*". Umm, you're welcome, I guess, haha.

* * *

**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction  
**(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)

* * *

**A Warning to the Reader!**

Too...lazy...just read the previous ones...if not...why the hell are you still here?!

But actually, this one doesn't have too much ranting in it. What can you rant about in spelling/grammar, anyways? This is a very boring chapter. Sorry, but it's needed. :P

* * *

**Chapter Four:** Spelling/Grammar Usage

_hehe ikr txtng talk is SO fun 2 use in a story_

* * *

**i.** Overview

* * *

(Okay, so keep in mind, I may be quite the hypocrite in this section, because I am writing this—well, wrote part of it, at least—at one o'clock in the morning right after an eight-hour long car trip, so...if I have any spelling/grammar mistakes, that is all my fault and you have my permission to incarcerate me on them. But I did my best to correct all of them right now, as I type at 8:26 a.m., so here's to a typo-free chapter!)

So, have any of you ever, like, stumbled across this fanfiction with a fucking _amazing_ plot line, not-too-shoddy characterization, action scenes that keep you at the edge of your seat, and—

—_SPELLING/GRAMMAR THAT IS SO FUCKING HORRIBLE THAT YOU WANT TO TEAR YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS?__  
_

Okay, that was an over-dramatization, but you get what I mean, right? For me, I just can't get through a fanfiction that has terrible spelling and grammar. It just burns through my eyes and I find myself automatically clicking the back button. I'm sorry, but it's true. And I certainly know a bunch of other people who would agree with me, if not you personally.

Grammar and spelling are actually _important_. Yeah, I said it. You can't just expect to get away with a sentence riddled with missing punctuation and atrocious spelling and _not_ expect grammar/spelling freaks (like me) to completely go insane over it. And it hurts the most when the idea is really, truly interesting, but the way it's written and the writing mechanics are...not.

And thus, it brings us to: _Grammar/Spelling Usage 101_, here we come!

* * *

**ii.** Commas

* * *

Yes, I am indeed devoting an entire section to _FUCKING COMMAS_. But! Keep in mind that I am not an English teacher, and I never will be. In fact, I really hate English class and always end up falling asleep in them. :P So if I start sprouting really English-esque words and phrases such as, "introductory elements" and "personal pronouns" and "possessive cases" (only one of which, I think, actually appears in this section), don't take them too much to heart.

Commas are, quite possibly, the _most forgotten type of punctuation EVER_. I swear, if I had a nickel for every time _(Yesyesyesit'sahorriblyclichésayingshutupnow)_ I read a sentence like:

**Incorrect:** _"Percy jumped over the fence in a panic a hellhound right at his tail."_

**Correct:** _"Percy jumped over the fence in a panic, a hellhound right at his tail.__"_

Or some people even choose to do,

**Ehhhhh:** _"Percy jumped over the fence, in a panic, a hellhound right at his tail."_

Of course, it's terrible to use _too_ many commas in a sentence as well.

**I don't even know anymore:** _"Percy jumped over, the fence, in a panic, a hellhound right, at his tail."_

And also:

**There's this new infection that seems to be spreading across a community of people collectively known as fanfiction writers, and this new syndrome has been dubbed by leading experts as Commamaniaitisfectioncancerhyperactiveimmunitory diseaseantiphobiaphilia:** _,",P,e,r,c,y, j,u,m,p,e,d, o,v,e,r, t,h,e, f,e,n,c,e, i,n, a, p,a,n,i,c, a, h,e,l,l,h,o,u,n,d, r,i,g,h,t, a,t, h,i,s, t,a,i,l,.,", omg, lol, i, like, LUV, commas, so, much, cuz, i, dont, no, how, to, use, them, properly, so, i, just, put, them, everywhere, in, hopes, of, placing, one, in, the, correct, place,.,_

"Currently, there is **1 **case of _Commamaniaitisfectioncancerhyperactiveimmunitory diseaseantiphobiaphilia_, appearing in a _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_ fanfiction called **"How to Write a PJO Fanfiction"**. It seems to be an especially severe case, although it only occurs in one sentence. Keep an eye on the author. He/she/it/gobbledook may be contagious."

Commas were created to make a sentence clearer, but some people are so comma-happy that they forget that commas are used to separate phrases in a sentence and they stick that poor curly mark into the sentence every three or two words. Or between every letter. In which case you have been infected by that strange disease known as Commamaniaitisfectioncancerhyperactiveimmunitory diseaseantiphobiaphilia, the scientific name of which is, after extensive research on my part,_ Commamaniaitisfectioncancerhyperactiveimmunitory diseaseantiphobiaphilia_.

But listen, commas are used, once again, to separate phrases in a sentence. It basically tells the reader where to "breathe" before the end of the whole sentence. Which are basically linked phrases, if you think about it a little.

Now, I would like to address a few key points before I bore you to death on this subject:

* * *

**1.** No, you do _not_ have to use a comma before the word "and" in a listing sentence.

* * *

I personally like to do stuff like, _"Bananas, apples, kiwis**,** and dragonfruit."_ But some people have a preference for, _"Bananas, apples, kiwis and dragonfruit."_ Notice the conspicuous lack of a comma before "kiwis" and "and". That's totally okay! It's a preference thing. :)

* * *

**2.** I hate paradoxes.

* * *

Okay, I really hate this, but it's necessary to address. Have you ever heard of the "because paradox" (even though it's not quite a paradox and I'VE HAD FUCKING ENOUGH OF PARADOXES IN THE LAST THREE WEEKS), otherwise known as the "because clause"? Anyways, I was always taught the "because paradox"; let me give you two examples.

**a.)** I knew that The Lost Hero is the first book in the Heroes of Olympus series because it says so right on the cover.

**b.)** I knew that there was a drug bust at our high school because my friend is in that school and he told me.

...Why did those two sentences take me eight minutes to write?

(Okay, they're not the best examples, but they'll have to do. They're somewhat ambiguous in this regard, but I don't want to get into that. Then we enter the confusing world of independent clauses, _more_ descriptions of "essential-ness" and all that jazz, and I really want to re-watch Korra after I finish this chapter, :P)

So, which one of these requires a comma before the "because" mentioned in both sentences?

The first thing you have to do is decide which of the "because paradoxes/clauses" are absolutely _essential_ to the meaning of the sentence. Meaning, if you read the sentence with no knowledge of The Lost Hero, would you interpret it differently than if you _had_ understood it? Let's analyze this.

**Correct or Not?: **"I knew that The Lost Hero is the first book in the Heroes of Olympus series because it says so right on the cover."

In this case, it _is_ the _fault_ of the cover that you know that The Lost Hero is the first book of the Heroes of Olympus series. So no, you do _not_ have to add a comma before the "because".

So, this is **correct**.

Now let us examine the other sentence:

**Correct or Not?: **"I knew that there was a drug bust at our high school because my friend is in that school and he called me."

Look at it the same way as the other sentence. In this case, it _is_ the fault of the _friend_ that there was a drug bust in the high school. Ignore the conjunction in the last phrase of the sentence, which wouldn't matter anyway. And that's not what you meant, was it? So, this is **incorrect**.

To fix this problem, you have to add a comma before the "because".

**Correct:** "I knew that there was a drug bust at our high school**,** because my friend is in that school and he told me."

* * *

**3. **If you're confused about what a sentence means, add a comma!

* * *

Okay, that was very badly worded. What I mean to say is, use commas to avoid confusion in a sentence.

_"Outside the moon was a vast expanse of gray dust."_

You aren't talking about the area "outside the moon", are you, now? I don't even think that there is an area like that, and I'm not counting outer space. So you want to say, _"Outside**, **the moon was a vast expanse of gray dust."_

Ah, much better, isn't it?

* * *

**4.** If you have excess goo hanging off in your sentence and it wouldn't matter if you scraped it off or not, so you kept it on, put a comma before and after that goo ends.

* * *

That was horrible too. Okay, what I mean to say is:

_"The Vocabulary Power Plus for the New SAT: Book One, a book with loads of SAT words and definitions, has five pencils on its cover and is red."_

Yeah, that looks about right. Anyways, the middle phrase, _"...a book with loads of SAT words and definition..."_, is not needed. The sentence would get away just fine with _"The Vocabulary Power Plus for the New SAT: Book One has five pencils on its cover."_ So use commas to seperate that un-needed phrase from the rest. However, you'd have to _identify_ that excess clause, which is probably the hardest part.

* * *

Guuuh, I'm done with this part. See, the thing about commas is, you have to have practice with them. Lots and lots of practice. If you don't understand something, _please,_ take five seconds out of your life and search it up. It will improve your story a lot. And over time, it will just get ingrained into your brain, and you'll have nice and proper comma grammar.

But anyways, I hope that this section helped in...er, comma-ness? LOL, that sounded weird.

* * *

**iii.** Dialogue

* * *

Good gods, that comma section took me an hour and a half to write...pafshdo!

Here we go.

Ah, dialogue, dialogue, dialogue. Wonderful dialogue.

IT'S NOT SO FUCKING WONDERFUL ANYMORE AFTER YOU BOTCH UP THE MECHANICS OF HOW THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO WORK.

I am _fucking sick_ of seeing stuff like, _"I like architecture" Annabeth said_. You are supposed to add a comma before that last little quote mark, when you're talking in terms of dialogue. It should be, _"I like architecture,"_ _Annabeth said_. It's as simple as that.

However, if you really want to stress what your speaker is saying, it's also okay to do, _"I like architecture!"_ _Annabeth said_, or if you want the character to ask an interrogative phrase, you can add a question mark in the same way: _"You like architecture?" asked Percy_.

Ummm, what else...what else...

I can't think of anything off the top of my head...

Oh! Yeah!

Okay, say that you want to introduce a new speaker, or a new line of dialogue. You do _not_ do, _"I like architecture!" Annabeth said. "You like architecture?" asked Percy._ You move that to a new paragraph:

_"I like architecture!" Annabeth said._

_"You like architecture?" asked Percy_.

Yeah...this is getting very lame; I'm distracted by the TV my bro has on right now. And I'm supposed to be watching him. :P

* * *

**iv.** Spelling

* * *

Not much to say here. Grammar is something you actually have to understand. Spelling? Why the fuck do you even get spelling mixed up? If you don't know how to spell a word, check a dictionary or search it up on Google (Google is your friend), goddammit. I can't take more than five seconds out of your life.

* * *

**v.** Texting Talk

* * *

This. This _fucking_ subject is the _number one thing that you must NEVER do in your fanfiction_ when it comes to grammar.

Now, I get that the many of us are hooked to our iPhones and cellphones and whatever, and we often like to...ahem, _shorten_ words and sentences to make our lives easier by typing on a tiny keypad. But when you come to writing stories, _YOU. DO. NOT. FUCKING. WANT. TO. EMULATE. THAT. THIS ISN'T SOME PRIVATE MESSAGING CHAT. THIS IS YOUR ACTUAL WORK, WRITTEN THROUGH BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS._ (Okay, maybe not blood, sweat, and tears, but that's fine.)

Seriously, is it that hard to write "you" instead of "u"? "And" instead of "&"? (If this is applying to a, say, shop name or something, then that is a-okay. But don't do that in your regular...speech.) Seriously, if you want to make a nice, clean fanfiction, then _don't_ use all those abbreviations and crap like that, and actually take the time to write the stuff out. I mean, we all "LOL" at one point, because "laughing-out-loud" just sounds weird everywhere, but ordinary stuff like "u" and "txt" and...all jazz like that, don't do it! (Of course, that doesn't give you liberty to use "LOL" in a story. People don't say "LOL" when they're talking. Or, at least, PJO characters don't...)

* * *

**vi. **Conclusion

* * *

Okay, I can't do this any more, I'm so sorry, guys, for such a lame chapter, but the comma section took so much out of me. I haven't had to use my brain like this in _forever!_ D:

By Zeus; I'm done here. I hate English class and I have no desire to return to this sort of stuff for a loooooooong time.

And on a side note:

**_So! Next chapter shall be that Percy Jackson analysis!_** Those will be all the reasons why I do _not_ believe that Percy Jackson does not deserve all the hype he gets and why I think that he's...a stupid...jackass.

* * *

**Next chapter:** Percy Jackson: Character Analysis

"PERCY OWNS YOU ALL!"

_That's what he wants you to think._


	5. Percy Jackson: Character Analysis

**Author's Note:** ...Since I can't reply to you by PM, **Guest**...you said:

_"You're really kinda irritating, you know that?"_

Awww, that's so sweet of you! ;D Indeed, I am irritating, and I know that. I've been told that plenty of times; on here, on various forums, basically everywhere I have an account, and in real life. I simply speak my mind. If you find the truth as I see it irritating and you can't handle it, then stop reading.

_"First of all, nobody is forcing you to read any of those stories and yet you read all of them."_

In retrospect and in hindsight? Nobody's forcing_ you_ to read this story. And I where the fucking hell did I say I read any of those stories? I make it a point to read them as infrequently as possible.

_"And you say you hate it when people "bash" characters while you're bashing Percy."_

As for the bashing part, this chapter is dedicated to you. At least I have solid reasons to back up my claims. (Or so I feel. Readers, you be the judge of that.) If you don't like it? Don't read it. I'm okay with that. Everyone is entitled to their different opinions, but isn't it nice to have opinions to back up their claims instead of just saying "Annabeth is a bitch because she ditched Percy for his brother"? I will not re-stress myself again over the Percy segment in Chapter Two.

The roasted marshmallows were good. Maybe I'll share them with you next time. Keep those flames up!

Oh, and by the way, guys, I am giving a shout-out to **Mystical Memories**, just because of _Hazardous Laughing_. It has become the new fashion. We have sometimes very...ahem, interesting conversations over PMs. The last of which were about cactus juice and its relationship to illegal drugs.

**ALSO, I WILL _NOT_ BE UPDATING TOMORROW. SEE YOU GUYS ON FRIDAY.**

* * *

**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction  
**(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)

* * *

**A Warning to the Reader!**

Wow, this chapter didn't turn out as bad as I thought. I actually find myself liking him at some points. No matter; there are still some pretty insulting things in here, so if you like Percy and don't want to get insulted, I highly suggest that you stop reading.

* * *

**Chapter Five:** Percy Jackson: Character Analysis

_His fatal flaw is personal loyalty...personal loyalty..._

_Hai there Athena._

* * *

**i.** Overview

* * *

I bet that I'm going to get flamed as twice as much as I already am for this.

So we'll start out with some goddamned fucking statistics, which blow me out of my fucked-up mind. Last I checked, there are about 17,999 fanfictions about Percy Jackson (in the character filter) out of 39,137 fanfictions in the PJO archives in total. (To be honest with you, I was expecting more than that.) There are only 12,897 fanfictions containing Annabeth Chase (in the character filter) out of the same amount. (By the way, guys, I congratulate you on almost reaching 40,000 fanfictions in the archives! When I first got on here in 2010—on another account, mind you—there were only about...18,000 - 21,000.)

Over the years, Percy has reached critical acclaim with the readers of PJO and HoO. I will be honest with you.

_**HE DOES **_**NOT_ DESERVE THE GODDAMN TITLE OF "BEST FUCKING DEMIGOD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD"._**

Well, at least he _doesn't_ deserve it in the Heroes of Olympus series. He wasn't _Percy_ anymore in it.

Anyways, here is my argument of why Percy doesn't deserve all...the fucking hype...he gets. And here is my analysis.

* * *

**ii.** Personal Loyalty

* * *

Seriously. I understand that he's the fucking Hero of Olympus, and he's loyal, and he's funny, and that he's a good guy overall! Those things are all well-due and fine, but I have a _severe fucking problem_ with Percy concerning, first among many things, _HIS FUCKING "FATAL FLAW"._

Now, one of my reviewers brought up an extremely good point concerning personal loyalty.

_"Both hubris and personal loyalty are dangerous flaws. If Percy had been ignored by Poseidon—if instead of Poseidon he had had another parent whom ignored him—and was taken in by Kronos—or his spies at camp, or simply made friends with the sullen demigods of the Hermes cabin, waiting for a call that would have never arrived—he would have destroyed the world gladly for them, which is wrong on so many levels... So, I believe it is a flaw. The only reason it doesn't seem so is because Poseidon became decent after a couple millennia and actually cares about him *shrugs* _

_The road to hell is paved in good intentions, after all. I think Rick Riordan wanted to reflect that with Percy's flaw. Just that. And, as Athena said, flaws based on good intentions are the most dangerous. That would mean that there are a lot of selfless fatal flaws as well, not only 'personal loyalty'. And if most authors weren't brain dead or blocked, they would exploit that for their Original Characters instead of copying abilities from other demigods and creating a Mary Sue that makes my eyes bleed *rolls her eyes*..."_

_[She (or he; I can't read the Spanish on her profile...I'm a Frenchie..:P) goes on for about two more lines that aren't important to this subject—but thank you for the praise! :3]_

Well, I just sat there for a few moments (*mindblown!*), and then I think I PMed you a reply...wait, look, I found it. I will give you and everyone a proper answer now.

Anyways, you say that if Percy had been ignored by Poseidon and made friends with the sullen demigods of the Hermes cabin, he would have joined Kronos and he would've _gladly _destroyed the world.

_Gladly_ being the key word.

I get where you're going there. But I think that Percy's conscience would have stopped him there, rather than his fatal flaw. I mean, take Luke, for instance. Luke wasn't sullen or hostile when Percy first befriended him. True, Percy got claimed and all that jazz, but I highly doubt that even if Percy didn't get claimed, he would get pulled into Kronos' vile, evil thoughts. There are an equal amount, I believe, if not more, of Hermes unclaimed kids (and the Hermes demigods themselves) that aren't sullen or hostile towards the Olympian gods, and Percy would have gotten equally influenced by them as well.

Luke was an extremely radical case, and...well, one may say that this was all Thalia's fault, as misguided as it seems. :P Don't get me wrong; I love Thalia, she's probably in my Top Five Favorite PJO Characters—but you can't deny that her running down to defend against the army of monsters, while it was very...heroic of her, caused her almost dying, which in turn caused her to be turned into a tree, and then Luke just spiraled down into madness and hatred after that. (Of course, if you follow this line of reasoning, it's also Zeus' fault, which I find very funny.)

And in this case, personal loyalty would have helped Percy and Camp Half-Blood out as well.

Yes, the road to hell _is_ paved with good intentions...what of it? Good intentions also often result in good results, and in Percy's case, this happened. And I think that it always _would_ have. You cannot deny that Percy is a character who we would all love to have in our lives, even Percy dislikers like me; his personality is just like that. He has a strong moral sense, I believe, which would have stopped him from doing anything _rash_ and _stupid_.

Take Luke, for instance. Luke had Thalia, who he probably had _some_ feelings for after being on the run with her for so long, who ended up turning into a pine tree. He grew especially embittered afterwards, because he believed that Zeus could do more—bring his daughter back from the dead, probably. And there wasn't really anyone there to help him through it (I didn't read _The Demigod Diaries_, so if this subject was addressed in there, I'm sorry). Perhaps Chiron, but that's it—Annabeth was seven and Luke was, what, fourteen or something? I don't think that Annabeth would (or could) have done a great job at mollifying the son of Hermes.

Percy had a bunch of friends who frolicked along with him to Los Angeles and, generally, agreed with him wherever he went. So the issue of him joining Kronos would never really surface.

Getting back to why I think that personal loyalty _is NOT a fucking_ flaw...and even if you argue that it is, you cannot fucking deny that it fucking betrays an insanely fucking good side of a character that we all wish that WE FUCKING HAD.

Personal loyalty is when an individual will risk the world to save a loved one.

Other than the world being destroyed (that's not important at all), it's awesome that Percy would have the audacity to save one of his friends, no matter the cost to his life. That's...an incredibly good characteristic to have in a human. We all wish we are as selfless as that.

Percy is one of a kind in that way. He's so unwaveringly _loyal_ that you can always count on him. He's described as handsome, good-looking, and if PJO characters would just say it, hot and sexy. He's apparently around six feet tall. He's a good swordsman. He's the Hero of Olympus. He's respected by everyone and anyone. He _always_, if not very often,makes the right decisions.

Sounds familiar? Refer back to Chapter One.

Personal loyalty, I admit, can be a flaw when..."used" wrong. But in Percy's case, it elevates him to great heights. And that doesn't reflect that well in my eyes.

* * *

**iii.** Automatic Love

* * *

What do I mean about automatic love?

This ties in with the previous section.

See, I get that this is what many main protagonists are like. They're famous in a certain community, they're popular, and _they're always fan favorites because they're the main character. That's what bugs me the most._

Oh, don't get me wrong, I like quite a few main characters. I like Katniss (Hunger Games). I like Annabeth—from the first series. I like Aang (Avatar: The Last Airbender). I like Korra (The Legend of Korra). I like Harry (Harry Potter. Harry was an extremely well-developed character; J.K. Rowling is seriously amazing! :D).

In retrospect, I hate Tris (Divergent. Hands-down, I think that it's the worst dystopian book/series ever). She's nothing more than a whiny bitch who likes a hot guy named Four/Tobias and spends half the book sighing and grumbling over him. And that dude, Four, only has four fears. (WHAT THE FUCK?! GARY STU ALERT.) I couldn't even get through five chapters of the second book, and their chapters are insanely short. I am not a fan of Katara (Airbender), although I will ship Kataang. I hate Peeta (Hunger Games...has anyone else noticed that Katniss/Peeta could potentially be "Peetniss"?). I fucking-to-gods-above _HATE_ Mako (Korra; thank _the gods_ that Bryke's realized the Mako hate from the fandom).

But people almost automatically like them, _all of them_, because they're the fucking hero of the story. That's what it boils down to, and it irritates me to no fucking end. Which is also why does goddamned Chaos stories are made.

We're all biased. We all have our favorite characters, and we all want to elevate them up to heights—hell, I have a bunch of fanfictions in random notebooks that have never been published that glorify Annabeth or Luke or Thalia to the point where they become no more than a Mary Sue/Gary Stu—but the difference is how you _carry out_ that biased-ness. Give them a _reason_ as to why they're the best of the best of the best. Don't just sit there, giggling like an idiot while you punch out a story on your keyboard about how Nico's sooooooooooo hot and sexy in that "son-of-death" type of way.

My point is, not every single one of us stops to analyze the character for the flaws and their virtues. And in Percy Jackson's case, we usually see only the virtues and never the flaws.

Why?

I swear to the gods that Percy doesn't _have_ any fucking flaws. He's a walking male model who's a demigod and can twirl around a fucking magical sword. His insecurities are limited to his friends and family getting hurt. Never has he thought...well, about what problems he may have in himself. And _this_ is dangerous. He doesn't really try to...er, make himself a better person, I guess (that came out harsher than expected; tone it down and you'll get what I mean), because apparently, he learns everything he needs to learn for the year from his experiences in the real world. But there's always something to learn!

Anyways, it's this "automatic love" that I'm mostly gnashing my teeth and tearing my hair out over. Just stop, pause, and think about the character for a few moments, if not days, and ask yourself, _Why do I like him/her?_ You'll find out something that you've never found out about your favorite character, I'm sure.

* * *

**iv.** Percy/anyone-else-in-the-PJO-fandom

* * *

Now, being the main character, Percy also gets shipped with about every other character in the books. Percabeth (Percy/Annabeth), Perlia (Percy/Thalia), Pico (Percy/Nico), Perluke-or-whatever-the-hell-that-shipping-is-call ed (Percy/Luke)...you name it, it probably exists.

I have no problem with male/male pairings, or female/female pairings (see **End Notes**). I have no problems with crack shippings, such as Percy/Riptide. (Although that must really hurt.) But I sometimes feel as if authors have the _need_ to ship the main-main protagonist with every single other character in the whole Percy-verse, as if they want to make him seem better than he is already made out to be.

A character does not need to have a romantic relationship with everyone he/she sets their sight on to make them great. A character is simply a character, and their personality tells all about them. But if you want to keep on shipping Percy with everything in existence, go on right ahead. I'm just putting it out there that a main character does not need to date everyone in the world before his/her life ends.

That is all.

* * *

**v. **Conclusion

* * *

Look, Percy is just like any other human. He's a little bit more, because of the godly blood running through his veins, but generally, still the same as the _other_ demigods around him. So stop making him so much better than all the demigods. I don't care if you love him. Just...don't take a leaf from badly-written Chaos stories (I have now realized that there is at least _one_ good story out there) and make him the fucking most powerful character in the world. You are writing in a clearly biased tone without any arguments (or backstory, in fanfictions' cases) to back it down.

* * *

**Next chapter:** Feedback/Reviews/Comments

They're not your life.

**End Notes: **I _**support** **LGBT rights**_ and will _**stand by my belief stoically**_. _**I will **_**not**_** tolerate gay-bashing in the reviews**_ and I will make moves _**to remove them if they do include such and such**_. Keep an open mind and please, please, _please_ _**do NOT incarcerate anyone just for their sexual orientation,**_ if you can help it. If you want to discuss sociology, _**don't do it in the reviews section.** _If you must, PM me, but I'd prefer not to open up on the shady field of sexual orientation and sometimes, race.

* * *

**NOTE:** I have read a few PMs and one review asking for a _"Piper McLean: Character Analysis"_, asking about my opinion of her.

Will the following suffice?

_I don't like her. I really, really do not like her. _

_And that will not change like it did with Percy._

For me to do an analysis of her, I'll end up doing everyone else because I feel guilty for only singling out two of the characters I dislike the most. And I don't want this thing to become chock-full of character analyses and nothing else, because I'll run out about things to rant about soon enough.

Also, I will be taking requests for chapters after Chapter Eight is published. Well, requests that aren't character analyses. I may do them once in a blue moon, but...meh. I'll do them every five chapters...how's that? Piper in Chapter Ten, then. XD

* * *

**A Review/PM Question: **What do you want for Chapter Nine?


	6. Feedback, Reviews, and Comments

**Author's Note (IMPORTANT; FORUM NEWS):** Well! Okay! We will tackle the issue of reviews in the chapter, but first, AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

_"OHMAGAH THE KORRA IS COMING!"_

*Deflates enthusiasm down to healthy levels*

Okay, I wasn't serious back there, obviously, but...BUT BUT BUT...I have indeed created a_** new forum devoted to this subject**_, par to **Shougo Amakusa**'s suggestion (and **DarkSiren49**), who is also a forum mod. The forum ("**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction**"; yes, I am so original) is for **discussion on all things PJO-related and how to make PJO fanfictions better**. Share your ideas, offer suggestions and...all that...jazz. Yeah. So, add the, you know, FanFiction URL (include the forward slash at the end of "net") and then copy and paste the following afterwards:

forum/How-to-Write-a-PJO-Fanfiction/137670/

I will be accepting one more mod request. So if you want to be a mod or something, please PM me with why you think that you'd make a good, well, mod for this forum...or something like that...hehe, I've never done this before. AND MAKE SURE YOU USE PROPER SPELLING AND GRAMMAR, OR ELSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN.

Also, I will be editing the PJ Analysis segment. I realize that it was very crappy and will fix that. :)

* * *

**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction  
**(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)

* * *

**A Warning to the Reader!**

There will be a lot less cursing and profanity. :P Once again, I'm toning it down.

Also, I'm trying a new approach to this in story format...let's see how this turns out, eh? Tell me your thoughts, and give me your advice (GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME YES I'M GONNA BE A HYPOCRITE) in your PMs or reviews! :)

Also, I will be editing the Percy Jackson analysis as the days go on.

* * *

**Chapter Six:** Feedback/Reviews/Comments

_They're nice, but they shouldn't stop you from writing._

* * *

**i.** Overview

* * *

**Title:** Reception

**Character(s):** Percy J.

**Summary:** You know that when Percy has to present his writing in front of his high school English class...

**Other Notes:** Let's just pretend that the Heroes of Olympus never existed. And no, this is not a "high school story" in that sense. Only Percy's at Goode, just like in the canon series. I am merely trying to get the point of my chapter across with this. :P _**And yes, I am indeed making Percy more nervous than he actually should**** be in this situation.** _:P And I really am not quite sure if people actually _do_ this in high school; all I know is that my eigth grade English teacher made our class read EVERYTHING we wrote out loud. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING, I'M TELLING YOU! *Sobs* IT WAS TORTURE! Because in one project, I wrote about gladiators, which involves people killing other people, and I got a little...graphic in my descriptions, because I am an absolute sucker for good action sequences, and I got sent down to guidance because my teacher thought I had the potential to become a homicidal maniac. Okay, I'll stop feeding you stories of woe now.

* * *

**ii.** Reception

* * *

He would much rather prefer fighting a whole load of monsters to what he was about to do (well, forced to do, really) next.

Percy Jackson stared at the five pieces of crisp, white printer paper in front of him, lines of black serif text lining the pages neatly. They had only been able to be seen digitally on a computer very, very late last evening (totally not in the wee hours before dawn), where his fingers had been hastily sliding over the black letters of a laptop keyboard for an English project that was due the next day/next morning.

He had been paranoid about monster attacks on his home as he punched furiously away at the laptop, but to his immense relief, none had come to tear his or his mother's throats out.

The words on the page were mocking him...he was sure of it.

As if to agree with his slight paranoia, the papers shivered, very much like dried leaves in the October wind, as his hand involuntarily twitched.

"Percy Jackson." The high, reedy voice of Professor Hanczor tore through the air like a snarling hellhound's claws; thin and distasteful, mocking and irritable. "If you would come up and present a sample of your writing to the class, that would be most appreciated."

Percy nodded mutely and stood slowly up from his seat, nudging his puny desk to the right a little by doing so. He took in a breath and let it out loosely, trying to squash his discomfort down into a tiny pinprick deep within his chest.

It worked for the time being, and he strode up the aisle to the front of the class, straightening his papers out with a deft shake.

"So..." Percy coughed into his fist. "My, uh, story's about demigods."

The class stared back at him, their facial expressions ranging from boredom to slight interest to _complete disinterest_ (Percy didn't understand this; how could _anyone_ not want to listen to stuff about him and Annabeth and Grover's adventures?), to just a glassy look in their eyes that made it look like they were stoned.

One of the guys in the class raised his hand, where it flopped lazily in the air as it waited to be called on.

It reminded Percy of a dead fish.

"Wayne?"

"What're 'demigods'?" the blond asked, the omnipresent sneer in his voice running in an undercurrent beneath the question.

"Offspring of a god or goddess and a mortal. Like, a human."

Wayne shrugged and leaned back into his seat.

Percy glanced down at the sheaf of papers clutched tightly in his hands again, opened his mouth, and began to speak.

"LookIdidn'twanttobeahalf-blooditbringstroubleto—" 

"Percy, if you would speak slower so that the rest of us may actually understand you, that would be nice," Professor Hanczor snapped.

Percy cast a furtive glance at his English teacher and nodded, the tips of his ears starting to feel warm. He wiped his right hand on his T-shirt, a thin film of sticky sweat covering his palm.

He _hated_ sharing his work.

"L-Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. It brings trouble, to both your family and friends. It brings hardship, to maybe even the world in a way you don't realize. And most of all, it brings death. You encounter death every day, whether it be of your fellow half-bloods, or a hellhound..."

Percy continued on like this, rocketing through the pages of his story, not even realizing that Professor Hanczor had been trying to get his attention for the past five minutes until he had finished his chapter, his cheeks flushed and his hands clenched around his papers so tightly that he was sure that they would rip any second now.

"Mr. Jackson," Professor Hanczor calmly said, "I hope that you are aware that I asked for _realistic fiction_."

"...But it is realistic," Percy muttered.

"Greek mythology is _not realistic_," Hanczor snapped, the pitch of his voice growing uncharacteristically high as he grew more and more flustered and angry. "That is ancient history! History, at a time when science had not developed and man relied on deities to tell them why it was sunny outside at one moment and thundering the next!"

The roar of laughter reached the son of Poseidon's ears a moment later, and Percy winced.

Dissing the gods was never a good idea. You know, even if he'd done it himself plenty of times, but all of those insults were conscious. And he beat Ares, anyways, so he could actually back up his claim.

Percy doubted that Professor Hanczor could have lasted half a second against the god of war.

He shuffled back to his seat, the class still hooting, and Percy was sure that his ears were a shade of flaming red that Ares and the non-existent god of chili peppers would have been proud of, and he decided right then and there to cross "author" off of his "Potential Careers" list.

* * *

**iii.** Feedback/Reviews/Comments

* * *

"AND THEN HE BLAMED HIS MOTHER FOR INFLUENCING HIM! :D"

Do you catch my drift there? Huh? Huh? No? Well, go figure. I pounded that thing out in ten minutes. :P

The moral of the story is:

Okay, so here's my opinion on this reviews subject:

_DON'T QUIT WRITING JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET ENOUGH DAMN REVIEWS._

Why are we obsessed with reviews? Are favs and follows not good enough for us? A review is, usually, less than half a line of meaningless text, and we still treat them like gods compared to favs and follows.

Reviews are _not_ a meter to determine whether or not you are good at writing. I mean, seriously, haven't you _ever_ noticed that Chaos/high school fanfictions almost always get the most amount of reviews, and some other unnamed fanfiction that's really well-written like, none? And how well are general Chaos/high school fanfictions written?

Badly.

Reviews are cool, really! I love reading reviews. Some of them make me feel like I'm the queen of the world!

...And then others make me feel like shit. Because sometimes, a "review" isn't a review, it's just a stupid phrase like "AWESOME UPDATE NOW NOOOOOOOOOW I'M TELLING YOU THIS IS SOOOOO GOOD OMGS" that makes you feel really good about yourself because someone complimented your writing, or it's an even stupider phrase like "i hate yr stry go 2 hell". We call those kinds of reviews "flames" if they're insulting/spammy and those praising ones "praise-but-junk", and we ignore them. :3 Most of the time, anyways...

So if you think about it, each story gets, like, ten _real_ reviews that way (if you're lucky), because almost all the time, reviews are pretty much that junky kind.

And that's what matters: the fact is that there are people out there who read your stories, fav and follow it, _but don't review it because they're too lazy to_. Yes, I can be pretty lazy when it comes to reviewing a story I like. I am sad to announce that seventy percent of the time, I am one of those people. At least, with multi-chapter fics...

Take comfort in your hit count; if you notice that your chapter has plenty of hits every single time you update, chances are, you know that there are many people out there who like your story enough to continue reading chapters. They simply don't make themselves known, _and that's okay_. They're still reading your story, and sometimes, that's all you can ask for them.

Now, I want to talk about these stupid authors who say the following in either the summary or at the end of every single...damn...chapter...in...the...story:

"I will only update if I get twenty reviews or more on this chapter! :DDDDDDD See you worthless people who I only like because you review until then! _*Poof*_"

Um...what. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You. That is the epitome of what _defines_ attention hogs, which I will be covering in...I think Chapter Eight? :P Anyways, you should _not_ be updating solely based on your review count. I am at a _loss_ for why people are absolutely obsessed with these damn reviews. Reviews, reviews, reviews! It's as if it defines our life as fanfiction writers! But sometimes, you just have to face the fact that...

**REVIEWS. **

**CAN BE.**

** STUPID.**

**:D**

Again, I like reviews as much as the next writer does, but it shouldn't get to the point where your review count is dictating when you update your story. And some people just don't realize that. Some people are review addicts. They can't get enough, and you have to learn to _get enough_, or not get any at all. So what? As long as you _like_ writing the story, keep on writing. Who cares about what anyone else thinks? You're not writing a fucking novel that'll be critiqued by the New York Times Book Review. You're writing for _yourself_, above all.

...Well, I don't know if I'm writing for myself in this, though, so you may call me out as a hypocrite.

The best writing comes from your own _enjoyment_ at writing your story, because in that way and only in that way, is it possible to put your heart into your writing. Don't let reviews control you. Control _them_.

* * *

**End Notes:** So, what I have decided to do for **Chapter Nine** is:

"OMG everyone just became sooooo much more powerful in the Heroes of Olympus!": _Powers Displayed in HoO_

Disappointed? But there's more.

**Chapter Eleven:** High School Fanfictions

Annabeth goes to Goode because she needs to be with Percy everywhere he goes.

**Chapter Twelve:** Plots and Summaries

"So my summary sucks, but I assure you that the story and the plot is SO much better! SO READ!"

**Chapter Thirteen:** Percabeth Babies...AT SIXTEEN! _I don't even know what to call this chapter without sounding insanely awkward._

I don't even know. I really don't even know now about these things. I'm a bit...disturbed; I'm not even sure if it's a good idea for me to do this. As it was requested, though, and I got rather interested on writing a dissertation on this topic (granted, because it gets on my nerves), it will indeed be in this guide/story. However, to the requester, I'm not sure if I can offer any advice. No, I don't think so...:P We'll see...


	7. Attention Hogs

**Author's Note:** Yo, am I kicked out of this fandom yet? If Rick Riordan or his family or his publisher ever saw this, they'd kick me out of the fandom. *Goes to crawl in a hole*

*Sighs* _You_ weren't at Comic-Con, _I_ wasn't at Comic-Con...WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.

* * *

**How to Write a PJO Fanfiction  
**(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)

* * *

**Chapter Seven:** Attention Hogs

_HEY HEY HEY I'M OVER HERE LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!_

* * *

**i.** Overview

* * *

**Title:** Paparazzi

**Character(s):** Percy J., Annabeth C., & OMG!rabid fangirls :3!OMG

**Summary:** Getting caught up in a swarm of Percabeth fangirls when you _are_ Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase is never a good thing.

**Other Notes:** I'm not quite sure where this idea came from. Other than being entirely un-realistic, it has nothing to do with the plotline.

* * *

**ii.** Paparazzi

* * *

"Annabeth?"

"Hmm?"

"I think that we're lost."

"We're not _lost_, we're just...slightly...off course..."

Annabeth threw the map down, her blonde hair in slight disarray: it was coming out of her ponytail, loose strands flying around everywhere, and as she swung around to face the son of Poseidon, the tail gave him a disapproving smack on the shoulder. "You've been to San Diego before!" she spluttered, obviously groping for an answer to their predicament. "You...you should _know_ the—ARGH!"

"OHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGOD! IT'SPERCABETH**—**!"

Percy cast a slightly-worried glance at his girlfriend, who looked as equally confused as he was.

"...Annabeth? What's Percabeth? And why does it sound familiar?"

Annabeth's hit him lightly on the shoulder. "It's—it's an Aphrodite-girl thing." She gave him a grin. "You wouldn't understand."

_"...__Excuse me?!"_ Percy indignantly spluttered. "And technically, by saying that, you're calling yourself a daughter of Aphrodite."

Thunder rumbled in the perfectly clear sky above.

"OHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGOD**—**PERCABETH IS MY _LIFE!"_

Someone was shaking Percy's arm so hard that he felt his left cheek and his tongue jiggling uncomfortably around the bones of his face. "Um**—**"

"Oh my gosh! My name's Callie!" she grinned, black hair flying in disarray. It was bound with a blue hair tie. "I'M THE NUMBER ONE PERCABETH FAN! OHMYGOSH! I LOVE YOU! You know, whoever you are...BUT I STILL LOVE YOU!"

"Bah." Another girl, who was marching by, stuck her nose up in the air. "It's obviously Lukabeth." She stomped away.

Annabeth choked. "Say _what?"_

"What're _your_ names?" Callie hyperactively asked, still tugging at Percy's arm. "Wow, you look exactly like how I imagined you guys to be!"

"...I'm...Percy Jackson...and she's Annabeth Chase..."

"I know that, silly!" Callie grinned. "But who are you _really?"_

"...Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase..."

"But they're fictional characters. My gosh, why are you guys at Comic-Con? THIS IS SO AWESOME. I mean, I'd gone to the Big Bang Theory panel, and I would've gone to the one right after that, except that the line's too long and people have been camping out for it since three in the morning." She jabbed a thumb at a huddled mass of blankets behind a few steel railings, and a white posterboard flapped in the wind, saying something that, to Percy's dyslexic eyes, read: _MAPC RAKRO 3012: STEBLSHADEI JLYU 91 3021_.

"Er, okay."

"Wait." Callie looked at them with hooded eyes. "If you _are_ Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, does that mean that you're Logan Lerman and Alexandra Daddario?"

"...Um." Annabeth glanced at Percy.

"OH MY GOD YOU GUYS LOOK SO DIFFERENT I SAW THAT DELETED SCENE IN THE MOVIE WHEN YOU KISSED IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER CAN YOU DO IT AGAIN?!"

"..." By this point, Percy was at a complete loss for words. Annabeth didn't seem to be much better.

"Wow, nice cosplaying!" Another girl pranced up to them. "You know, I've supported Percabeth _ever_ since the first book came out in 2005, and you guys are, like, the only people I've ever seen who've got it, like, spot-on."

"What in the world is cosplaying?" Percy asked, getting a little irritated. _"And what the Hades is Percabeth?"_

"Wow, you must be a really die-hard fan to use 'what the Hades', huh?" Callie brightly asked.

"But you don't know what Percabeth is," the second girl suspiciously said. "How can you _not_ know what Percabeth is?"

Annabeth coughed into her fist. "It's the"**—**_cough_**—**"Percy-slash-Annabeth"—_cough_—"shipping."

Percy wheeled on her. "Well, what's _shipping?!"_

"OH MY GOSH, DO I SEE PERCY AT COMIC-CON?!"

"PERCY, I LOVE YOU!"

_"PERCY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"_

"PEEEEERRRRRCCCCYYYYYYY! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! OHMYGOSH, WILL YOU TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME?"

"PERCY, KISS ME! I'M OVER HERE!"

Besides him, Annabeth was absolutely dying of laughter as she watched her boyfriend turn red as a beet while these...these _rabid girls_ assaulted him with verbal and physical hits.

"I SHIP PERCY AND MYSELF! PERCY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

"...Oh. My. Gods." Percy clasped his hands over his ears and began to run away from the screaming, rabid hoard of girls (who simply followed him), leaving Annabeth to laugh at him behind his back.

* * *

**iii.** Attention Hogs

* * *

Not much to say here, is there? Attention hogs are, generally, authors who publish Chaos stories, "Reading the Books With the Gods", Chaos stories, Goode High School stories, Chaos stories, Percy-turns-into-a-werewolf/vampire-stories, and did I mention fucking Chaos stories yet? Oh, and also people who say, _"I won't update until I get X (usually over 5) reviews on this chapter! OKAY! SEE YA!"_

This ties in heavily with the reviews section beforehand, and Chaos stories: people write these because they know they're popular and they know they'll get reviews.

...Again, seriously, what is with this fandom and reviews? It's seriously awesome if you just want feedback and constructive criticism for your story (so no, "welp", you-know-I'm-talking-to-you-whoever-I'm-talking-to , you are _not_ guilty of violating the previous chapter...XD), but again...most reviews are things like "awesum sawce update soon". What do you hope to glean from that? Bad spelling and grammar?

Don't publish stories based on how you _know_ you'll get reviews from them. Again, that's why all those stagnant, overused fanfictions are clogging up the archives: readers are hungry, writers deliver. But we need _ideas_ in this fandom. That's the whole point. I think that fanfiction is a great way for, aspiring writer or no, ordinary people to get their creativity flowing out into the world and see what they think. (Of course, that's also Fictionpress, and that's why I really like Fictionpress: there aren't really any stereotypes there. Unless you count morbid poetry, but I'm not going to get into that.) However, you aren't actually contributing the the "creative Zen flow" of ideas in the archive if you're clogging it up with nasty and overused sewage that's already been used ten times over.

Think about it this way: you have a clean and nice garbage bag. It fills up with garbage and you dump it and the trash away.

Then, someone else comes along, decides for whatever stupid reason that they like the garbage bag, use it, and then throw it away.

Then, _another_ weirdo comes along and thinks that the two-times-used garbage bag smells nice and has a lot of flies or something on it, and they uses it and throws it away. And et cetera, et cetera.

And each time, the garbage can gets more and more disgusting, yet people can't get enough of it. Why? It's a mystery.

Same with all of these overused plot bunnies. They simply aren't interesting anymore, and the majority of them are terribly written. And that's what happens when a fic explodes into popularity in these fandoms: people grab at the chance to use it to up their review count, because they want to get noticed. NOOBS.

But for a seasonsed writer to do that? WHY? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!

Attention hogging is always the answer. There's simply no other way to say it.

So think of new ideas to contribute to the fandom. Don't just publish an overused one because you want reviews and whatever crap like that. It's not right, and it's not fair to the person who originally came up with the idea to see their plot get butchered like that, a hundred, a thousand times over. Sure, if you can put an original twist onto the overused, stagnant story—well done, I applaud you! But the majority of writers who _do_ "plagiarize" these ideas can't put their own spark into the story to make it truly come alive.

So now, we can call these attention hogs plagiarists. And we can call all of us plagiarists, because we're stealing Rick Riordan's idea and making it into our own.

Well, you know..."making it into our own".

Most of the time.


End file.
